I love that song by Lindsey Buckingham! The Christmas season for some with mental health illness can be a long road. Holiday’s are stressful, and could cause us to be more anxious, depressed, leaving some in despair. But this song reminds me that all roads have a theme. We don’t have to get on the road to No Where, or the road to Unhappiness. This season I am on the Holiday road! I know it won’t take away from my daily things I have to manage for my mental health but I am making a decision to get on a better page.. Holiday Road, here I come..
For those of us who deal with Mental health illness there is a pain that cuts so deep it aches at your bones… People say mental health illness affects the mind BUT my mind attaches to every part of my body…. How then can it not cause me pain? This blog isn’t just a place for me put what I am feeling down in an archive.. I don’t need a journal. This is to let anyone who is affected by Mental Health illness know that we can make it.. You can do it! I believe in you! I can’t stop this pain but I can fight.. I can #FUXMENTALHEALTH
We all know the saying, ‘Enough is Enough!’ Well I have a question, is it? Having mental health illness also affects the way I feel about myself. I tell myself ‘your good enough’, ‘your smart enough’. But I wonder, am I enough? Doubting myself has become second nature to me because if you can’t trust your own eyes an ears all the time then how do I believe my mind is smart enough to produce great things. How do I know I am doing good enough in an area? Well I can say this much.. I am all I have so ‘Enough will have to be Enough’ today…. #FUXMENTALHEALTH
This month is a time for celebration just like Breast Cancer or any of the other awareness months. It’s about survival and struggle! Strength and healing! I don’t know why this month isn’t as popular as others but for me it’s a month long time for honest interactions and great conversations! I am trying to….
I say ‘Step by Step’.
Somedays I don’t feel like stepping. Then other days I take 100 steps. No matter what don’t stay still. We with mental health illness have to keep moving, keep walking, sometimes crawling to our breakthrough. Anything to keep us from going lower or sinking. It’s a hard challenge but remember someone is out there hurting just like you but we are reminded to move. Blink your eyes, snap your fingers, curl your toes.. The longer we sit with no movement is the easier it is for us to sink, and then with no strength we will drown.
I am working on twinkling my nose.. But until I get that under my belt I will continue to #FUXMENTALHEALTH.
Well, well, well.. The day is here and it’s just as hard as the last time. We who suffer from Bipolar disorder deal with waves. Waves of mood swings. Some days I feel like I have literal super powers. The other days I am dragging around my lifeless body… And no emotion feels like the last.. I tell myself if I could prep for this, remember how I got out of the last bout of depression or Mania then it wouldn’t hurt so bad the next time that wave comes… The wave is here and I feel like shit.. I feel like my boat is filling with water.. I don’t want to drown, I am trying to find the strength to swim.. God knows it’s hard BUT I don’t come here and type my heart out just to do it.. I do this with hopes that someone, somewhere will read this and know they are not alone. I UNDERSTAND.. I AM THERE.. BUT I AM HERE TO
Being Bipolar comes with a lot of things.. Racing thoughts, delusions, feeling like you can take over the world… BUT with Bipolar illness you also have low, low, lowssss…. These symptoms can even make you feel physically tired. It’s the chemicals in our brain that lacks what we need to regulate our thoughts and mood. So next time you see me and I say ‘I’m so tired.’
Don’t say, ‘You look fine’, ‘You just need to relax’, or ‘There is nothing wrong with you’.
My response will always be