Dancing Dolls

Let’s begin by saying that I suffer from Bipolar 1 disorder…. Let’s get that straight from the beginning so when I tell you my thought patterns you can follow me… Or try to understand… Or just read and be amused.. Being Bipolar 1 means I am guaranteed a Manic episode and depressive episode or two or three throughout the life of the illness. ¬†Mania… Mania is like taking drugs all day, for only one day. And then you’re high never going down. A week, two weeks, even two months and you’re still high… Too some this may sound fun but not for all. (Well some parts are fun, for a small bit of time) I feel like I can fight a giant, jump off the 10th floor balcony landing on my feet, and do all this with an hour sleep for days. For me the worst part of Mania is the after. Like coming down off anything it can put you in a deep funk. This funk can bring you to suicide. Not fun. Many of us deal with this daily.¬†The dancing dolls dance in my mind all the time. The dancing dolls dance in my mind all the time. What are these dolls? To sum up a long story. Some of us are born with these mental illnesses and I knew at a young age that I had ‘powers’. I remember at about 3 years old I left all my dolls and teddy bears on the basement floor with my toy record player. I went downstairs one night to retrieve some of my toys when I saw them all dancing to the music from my record player. When they looked up and saw me watching they stopped and went back to their lifeless form… To me it was amazing, my dolls have life, their dancing! But this was a sign of a long road of issues to come… Don’t I wish I could have FUXMENTALHEALTH from then…


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